我真的受伤了

窗外阴天了
音乐低声了
我的心开始想你了
灯光也暗了
音乐低声了
口中的棉花糖也融化了
窗外阴天了
人是无聊了
我的心开始想你了
电话响起了
你要说话了
还以为你心里对我又想念了
怎么你声音变得冷淡了
是你变了
是你变了

灯光熄灭了
音乐静止了
滴下的眼泪已停不住了
天下起雨了
人是不快乐
我的心真的受伤了

电话响起了
你要说话了
还以为你心里对我又想念了
怎么你声音变得冷淡了
是你变了
是你变了
灯光熄灭了
音乐静止了
滴下的眼泪已停不住了
天下起雨了
人是不快乐
我的心真的受伤了

He finally came online..and im relieved..

Im such a paranoia..such a weakling..

To jie who is chatting wif mi now: thanks for assuring that the way i reacted was totally understandable..

To paul paul : im such a crybaby...hehe...but what will i do without u..

To eliza : thanks for being here and feeling gan cheong for mi as well..

Im such a silly girl..sighz..

As each hour passes by, my heart sinks even deeper...No sms or call from you..Why?

It was a restless night for mi as i tossed and turned and woke up several times to check my phone..thinking that you might drop a msg or call..

I have thought over all the possibilities but none of them was substantial to warrant for your actions..except if you were kidnapped...

How should i be feeling now? Worried? Disappointed? Or once again be understanding? Or as nonchalant as you had portrayed to be? Call you?

I dont know..i just know the feeling sux..

Am typing singlehanded while holding a plum in the other..its sho sour but i like! heh..hope the little amts of Vit C in that plum can help battle the annoying flu bug that had invaded my system!! I could have taken an orange instead but im too lazy to peel it..and i prefer my oranges peeled instead of them cut into wedges..
Had been out the entire day with Jeff..Been a long time since we have spent so much time together in a single day boy..He had been tied down with work..then again, i have gotten used to the fact that there will be fewer chances of us 'pak toring'..oh well..career comes first now..
Gotta be more disciplined if i want to complete my assignments sooner boy..then again, i am not complaining cos time was well spent with him before he goes on a business trip to Thailand on wed which i will refer it as the 'land of temptations'..
Shall have the time to concentrate on work and try to take my mind off pointless worries and thoughts for these few days while he is away..

Had an eventful day yesterday..As we were promised a tour of how the foodservice operations will be like in the army camp, we made our way down to SAFTI. It was an eye opener and im pretty impressed with the architecture of the entire compound..nice! Erm sorry i dont know how else to describe it in those terms which my 'architectural' friends will be more well versed in huh..ok let mi try harder..it looks like a fortress! Gives me a serene yet secure feeling prolly cos of its high walls..
As its a protected area, we had to exchange our ids for visitor passes..Had a taste of how the infamous cookhouse food tastes like..and sad to say, i have to agree its really not that good..better not let my ex supervisors see this man..
Then headed down to jurong east to meet Jeff for abit..had fries and a drink...then decided to roam around to pass time till evening to meet jie..

Meeting up wif jie has always been good..it had been such a long time since we have both caught up with each other!! And i received gifts from her! hehe..a sweet looking panty and a bar of soap made from PURE dead sea salt..the PURE must be in caps to emphasize it exactly like how jie described to me last nite hahaha. And finally passed her, her long overdue bday pressie and im glad she liked it! :)

What i am going to say now could largely be related to gals..at least thats what i think..Are a woman's instincts accurate all the time? And does it only act up much stronger when it comes to her man? Gals, gimme ur views abt this ya..Guys are welcomed too k..

Alrite gotta head down to cineleisure to meet my cousin now..buaiz..

Our anniversary

It was a special day for the both of us yesterday..10th August 2005..marks our 7th Year together..With all the dramas and heartaches that happened not long ago..it made me treasure the bliss of having him around even more for this anniversary..

Thinking back at how we first got together..he with his side parting hairstyle..the plump me with my braces and untrimmed eyebrow *eeks*..I was still recovering from my past rship..We went through the different phases in our lives..Poly days, NS, LDR with me stuck in Newcastle for 2 1/2 years, his new career...We almost didnt make it in some phases..But at each time when the rship seem to be dying..either one or the both of us will hold on tighter to it..salvaging it...

Like how i totally agree with my girlie..Nothing is forever..But a part of me is secretly hoping our love for each other will thrive and bind us both together forever..

Happy Anniversary to you and i..

Happy 40th Birthday Singapore

Happy 40th Birthday Singapore!! I LOVE YOU!!!
It had been 2 years since i have been back for National Day..Nothing beats being back here..I am proud to be a Singaporean and living abroad for some time has made me love my home more..

Hmm..couldnt get to sleep..think it has to be the caffeine from my skinny capp i had at Mc Cafe just now..Had a great day today..Only got up at around 1 plus this arvo and had a grilled chicken chop for brunch at around 3pm! haha..wat a great example i set as a dietitian huh..
Then accompanied Jeff home and got greeted by the ever adorable piggy..hehe..shes just so cute but i simply dont understand why she will growl at me everytime i hug her! haha..erm for those who is trying to make out who piggy is..shes jeff's family dog..
Then dinner was at this steamboat place at bugis..it was good..and the soup was fiery mann..then headed down to marina square to catch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Pauline and Jess..The story was gd! Found it entertaining..and i must say Charlie has got such a nice accent! hehe..im a sucker for the British accent..
Then we settled for coffee at Mc Cafe at East coast after much discussion..come to think it..it had been quite some time where i hung out at a cafe..relaxing..catching up and just listening to my girlies..
Just gotta know one of my girlie better and realised she has had such a trying time throughout all these yrs..and it made mi realised how fortunate i was..and shes indeed a strong gal..the set backs i have encountered are just so tiny as compared to her..I just wish life for her will be better soon..
*yawnz* yayy..finally feeling a lil tiredness setting in...shall go sleep now...
And hope my triple eyelid will go away and become double again..sighzz..aftermath of crying too much..and of cos to recover from the soreness of my left eye will goooo awaaayyyyy...

nite nite pple..

It has been an emotional roller coaster for me for the past 2 weeks...However, i have never expected things to resolve so quickly, of course i am not implying that i want it to drag forever but the whole decision and issue was already sinking in and then you called...

The longer time you spent in a relationship, the harder it is to let go...through this ordeal, i have learnt that forgiving is much easier than holding on and blaming..and that there are alot of things to learn in this world and trust is something which you must abandon all doubts and 'what ifs' and be brave to trust again..
And nevertheless..my girlies who have been there for me throughout this whole ordeal..

' Dear gals, it would have been so painful if i didnt have you gals with me..thank you so much for the guidance, advice and hugs..thank you so much for loving me so much...i love you all too..'

Of cos not forgetting the guy friends that have been offering me advice..thanks guys..:)

Though things are back to normal..i will still take things easy ya...life is so unpredictable..

on a lighter note, i finally learnt how to blade!! Thanks to ms paul paul once again for being the pushing factor..:) but gotta practise more to be more zai!!
And also, i have finally rebonded my hair!!

But my left eye is itching..and red too..sighz..dont know wat happened to it again..prolly shld see a doc huh..sianz gotta wear glasses...

Will blog again..

sad sad..

Finally came to the end of my attachment..Time to concentrate on other stuff...

How Can i Not Love You

~ How Can I Not Love You ~
Cannot touch, Cannot hold, Cannot be together
Cannot love, Cannot kiss, Cannot love eachother
Must be strong and we must let go
Cannot say what our hearts must know

How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone

Cannot trip, Cannot share sweet and tender moments
Cannot feel how we feel, Must pretend it's over
Must be brave and we must go on, Must not say
Wat we no longer long

How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone

How can I not love you

Must be brave and we must be strong
Cannot say what we no longer long

How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone

How can I not love you
When you are gone

friday..

Thought i should blog first before starting on my mad rush for my attachment report..Yeah its a friday nite and here i am slogging (going to) away..Price to pay for being lazy and procrastinating!! And poor me is sick :( Developed a really bad cough recently..my throat is so itchy!! *coughz*
I must say i have been quite a gd gal lately cos i have been going home for dinners! Cant resist all the yummy soups i have missed in my stay in Aust...yumz*

I noticed ever since i came back, i had been such a lazy gal..god knows how am i going to complete the 3 assignments i will have for my paediatrics nutrition subject next boy..
Talking abt uni work, i passed the subject i dreaded the most! hiakz..i am soo relieved! Next 2 hurdles will be to pass this attachment as well as the paeds i mentioned earlier..

Then dearie and i were thinking of going to either HK or taiwan for a break after my attachment..Hmm..dearie wanted to go to some resort but mum expressed her worries about us going ( she claims shes paranoid after all the bombing and tsunamis)..Oh well..will see how it goes when dearie comes back..Dear is in Thailand now..Hope he is having fun!

Think i will go to the temple tmr in the morning and also get a bday gift..alritey..gotta start on my work now! Blog again..buaiz..

sick..

Didnt go to work today..had diarrhoea..couldnt figure out which food caused it man..2 more weeks left to rush my work liaoz..and i have got to be disciplined!! No going out after work...must stay home durin wkends too liaoz..sighz..sianz...

I am finally going to attend a friend's wedding dinner! Just got the invitation card from her...Shes actually my ex colleague from the last temp job i had..she and her husband are just so loving..really envious man.. Met up wif her, mabel and jiahui and had such a gd time just sharing stories about rships to match the theme of the night! *LOVE, RSHIPS and MARRIAGE*

I am not ashamed to say i m resistant to change..however, if given some time and to something that cannot be helped, i would conform to the change..
I have been unhappy..needless to say, the stress from the attachment exacerbates the misery..I am so tired of being unhappy..and i guess all of my readers are sick of reading it too..I wished i could just draw myself away from the gaping hole...

Life upon returning back here wasnt how i thought it would be..Over there, i was always hoping to be back in your arms again..cos i missed you so much and i knew u missed me heaps too..though we suffered from the absence of seeing each other..the sweetness exuding from our phone calls were just so nice..the naive me expected you to able to spend as much time as you could wif me..

Back here..no doubt we had our sweet times together..but i guessed we have just changed..your career unarguably is the priority for you now..and i wasnt prepared...wasnt prepared to have to learn to tolerate the lesser time you will have for me, to have to accept that you do certain things to try to help in your job...to have to accept the busy you not have the time and patience to give little surprises or just hug and hold mi lovingly and tell me things are gonna be ok even though u may deem as impractical...The rship has ventured into another stage..a stage which is unfamiliar to me..a stage which sometimes upsets and confuses me...a stage which u always say i will understand when i start to work..Does one's perspective of the relationship really change after working?

I m confused..and i dont wan to grow up...i am beginning to think of myself as childish, as not being understanding enough..am i really that? I know im too sensitive and pessimistic for my own good..if only i could get to choose my character huh? As if i could help it...To help myself? Well..what is there to reassure myself that everything is ok? I really dont know..and i need guidance...

Lost Jo..

Blue blue monday..

Must be the withdrawal from the heaps of fun i had last wkend that i felt extremely blue today..what with one of the report barely done and the other which seems impossible to complete..Jo is feeling really blue, stressed and depressed...Sighz..how am i ever going to pass..
I have got oni 3 weeks to complete them!!

On a lighter note, i have to tell u all abt the celebration we had at MW for Ms Paul paul's bday..It was good..and i m glad the bday gal enjoyed herself..apart from a couple of unhappy and unforseen events that happened..Hope yan fang is feeling alrite now..

Was somewhat reluntantly whisked off to tanjong pagar...then again, after some valid explanation..it didnt seem that unreasonable afterall...stayed for awhile and off we went to the 24 hr coffeeshop to feed our growling stomachs..

Sunday morning, we had yummy popiah and it was more interesting than the ones we were used to as we had to roll them ourselves..There was this shop which catered all the ingredients from the skins to the chopped peanuts..Even jeff who is not a great fan of popiah liked it!
Caught Fab 4 in the evening and i think it must be the lack of sleep from sat nite..i almost dozed off at the beginning of the show! Luckily i managed to keep awake after the pace of the show became faster..AFter the show, jeff actually suggested going to my fav coffee joint !! hehe..Coffee club express at somerset! Yeah..see lah..how to expect me to return to plain, stressful and boring work after i had so much fun in the past 2 days boy..

Torture..

Your #1 Match: ENFP

The Inspirer You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends. You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules. Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives. You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller! You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

Your #2 Match: ESFP

The Performer You are a natural performer and happiest when you're entertaining others. A great friend, you are generous, fun-loving and optimistic. You love to laugh - and you like almost all people equally. You accept life as it is, and you do your best to make each day fantastic. You would make a good actor, designer, or counselor.

Your #3 Match: ENFJ

The Giver You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed. Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections. Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down. You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine. You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist.

What's Your Personality Type?

Early morning..disillusioned...

Hi pple..am chomping away on my cereal and milk while typing this..Thought i should blog before getting changed for work..Let mi see..Met up with some of my Uni friends for a get together at 'Ting Yuan Ma La Steamboat'..It was priced at $16.80 per person..sth like all u can eat buffet..however this time, you dont even need to move an inch to get the food you want..cos the waiter will bring it to you..We tried 3 kinds of soup and the spiciness of the Ma La wasnt that hard to handle..Im not bragging here lah..not saying that i can handle really spicy food but i didnt hear any of my friends complain that it was too hot..But only when you drink the soup will you then realise its quite spicy huh..
Then Kristy suggested going for KTV..and off we went ( some of us) to Kbox Suntec..Knowing me, I am always onz for some singing! Sang and joked till 1 am and i decided to take my leave though i really would love to stay on..Had to wake up early to WORK mah! *sianz* And did i mention i am quite dead cos i havnt even done like half of my report which is gonna be due end of this mth and to be submitted to a very strict lecturer? *sighz*
Yup..alrite i gotta go decide what i have to wear from my somewhat drab and boring wardrobe for work..

Will blog again..

a month has passed..

Wow..its one of those rare saturdays where i find myself at home..Finally got the chance to sleep in, but i think i need a new pillow..the old and flat one has been causing all the annoying headaches and neckaches!! i need to get a full length mirror too!! Seems like its time to head down to ikea! See if jeff is free tmr to acc mi or not..

Was out with Mich and pauline last nite..and coincidentally, we were all decked in pink and denim bottoms! hiakz..we make a pretty pic but too bad the oni digital cam died..so no pics to show how pink we were! Hee

Another more mth to go for my attachment, hope everything goes well and just let mi pass pls!! Now i finally understand why ah eng was actually afraid of graduating..i feel lost..What am i going to do after i graduate?
1. Work as a dietitian?
2. Go try for the travel industry?
Sighz..choose 1, will i like my job? i mean i am feeling sick of it..like when i was having my attachment, i dont detest it though i was constantly grilled by my supervisor cos i know it will be different if i was already a dietitian..But will i like my job for long? Guess no one knows..only if i start working in it..Seriously, i dont look forward to working in this line at all..i wonder if its burn out or issit that my interest has faded?

Choose 2, firstly, i have to be able to get in..and i have had enough of friends and family reacting like this : 'You are going to waste your degree', 'No job prospects', 'What are you going to do after this?'

Well, all above meant well..but its my life rite? This is what i want to do at this point of life..If there are so many ' what if'..why dont we just come up with a 'fool proof' plan in our life..have everything planned out so that we can counter every 'what if'? Will we really be happy then?

Life is so unpredictable

Its Sunday nite..and needless to say, Monday blues are setting in..Am typing this in Jeff's place..just joined him and his friends for dinner. Talking about dinner, i took a cab down and just as i needed some quiet time to myself, taxi uncle was yakking away right from my house to the destination..Sighz..i gave really obvious 'ums' and 'ahs' but he still didnt get the hint..And i must say this is first time taxi uncles talk to me about food..to the extent of dishing out a recipe!! Yesh..u read rite, he literated the recipe of chilli crab to me! Not bad huh..haha..

Didnt do much today, was supposed to be doing work at home, but of cos i was distracted with chatting..
Mum was home and cooked really yummy bee hoon..And she finally made some space for me in our SHARED wardrobe for my winter clothings..Between us, we each have got a wardrobe with another shared one..but mum has got soo many clothes in there! Simply no space man..

Friends around me have been having problems with their relationships..Me included..As human beings, we have the ability to feel and think and emotions are powerful forces of humans that propel us to react and behave in a certain way..Love is definitely the greatest example where the strongest and toughest can crumble under the influence of it..And of cos could also make the weakest stand up again..

And i think as i grow older, i tend to keep problems to myself more..Probably cos friends around me have their own set of problems, commitments to attend to and the least i want is for them to worry about me and be burdened further with my problems..And some which may be perceived as miniscule to them..It tires me to relate the problem too i guess..But nevertheless, i know my gal pals will always be there for mi whenever i need a crying shoulder or a listening ear..and most importantly someone who genuinely cares abt me..

Have a gd week ahead guys..

When can i ever have my own dog?

Like i said, the answer was a NO from my granddad..sighz..:(

My precious...wkends..

While waiting for my painted toenails to dry, i thought i should update my blog.Its a quiet sat night for me, as compared to the crazy partying for the past few sats..

Went Mr Bean Cafe with Paul paul and friends while Jeff went TM to meet his uni friends...before that, i was at Bugis with Jeff..Caught 'Initial D'..Woo..enjoyed ogling at the droolsome Jay, Edison and Yu Wen Le..and the one sitting beside mi lah..hahaha..After watching that show, i am quite determined to go book my advanced test next sat *lol*..(Dear if u are reading this, i must emphasize again i am not thinking of being able to do 'drifting' ok!! :p)
Bumped into sec sch juniors..and one of them kept saying i was skinny..i totally disagree with that man!! Ought to be more stringent in my intake liaoz..been eating too much lately!! *Images of today's intake surfaced - 1 popiah, 1/2 char siew bao, a glass of siew dai coffee, 3/4 plate of hokkien mee, some fries from Mos Burger, 1 iced latte, a caribbean chicken tortilla wrap..arrgghh..all going to my thighs, waist and arms!!

Fri was spent rushing work..finally finished a set of the menu..but still gotta make changes to it..that will be done tmr..*sighz* Then rushed down to suntec to meet Mich and Eliza for a ktv session at K box..It turned out really well with Mich and Eliza hitting off pretty gd..Cos its their first time meeting each other..And i must thank bernard for being such so nice for his company as well as helping mi carry my laptop from Yio Chu Kang to Suntec..And his own apptment was at Orchard!! Wah..you mei you ze yang nice!! hehe..thanks kor..i know my friends dote me!! :p

Have been thinking of trying my luck for the upteen time to ask Mum if i could keep a dog..Guess most likely the answer is gonna be a quite obvious NO..:( I want a dog so badly that i m even willing to keep a chihuahua cos its small!! Those who know me well enough knows i love shih tzus and silky terriers more loh..Nvm..am still gonna try asking her tmr!! Wish me luck guys haha..

Ok..eyes getting heavy, more typing errors liaoz..haha..Gonna lie on my comfy bed..Have a lovely sunday guys!

My addiction

Mango Tango Cheesecake!!

My kind of life!!

Finally got to meet up with Xiushan and Sian eng yesterday...went NYDC for dinner..i had mushrooms attack..and i have never had so much mushrooms in my life before!! Haha..but it was gd..cos i have always thought mushrooms will always come with cream sauce instead of a tomato one..then i had my daily dosage of coffee in the form of Betty Boop style cappucino!! *yumz* and shared a mango tango cheesecake with ah eng..it was alrite..
Then after that, xiushan had to head home cos she wasnt feeling too gd...whereas the siao char bor me suddenly had the urge to get a bag! hahaha..and poor ah eng had to rush around with me to look for that bag for mi to buy! hahaha..and guess wat?! I really managed to get a bag haha..from little matchgirl! Nice neh..

I look so haggard..:(

Eventful week..

Wah, long time since i have blogged..Jo is getting lazy!! Hehe..blame it on the attachment lah..working hrs from 8.30 am - 6.15 pm..and its bloody warm in the office cos the stupid air con broke down!! Arrgghh...Ji tao perspire non stop from start of work till i knock off..:( I dont like such working conditions..cant dress up, then still have to stink at the end of the day..sianz..wat to do, just have to endure till end of next mth...
Anyhow, met up with a few friends which i havnt seen in a long time..really enjoyed their co man..and i must say, its gd to be back! ( in this aspect haha) Went dbl o last saturday..and the lycheenis (as how mi and pauline will call them). Read ' lychee martinis' are oni for $6!! hiakz..had a really great time man..
Oh yahh i bought brown contacts for myself!! Hehe..was on my way to meet some friends for dinner at suntec when i passed by this promotion..the 2nd box was going for 50 %..Had always wanted to try them and since they had this promo, i thought i would just give it a try..hehe..am wearing them now, will post a pic later!!
As for yesterday, i was out the entire day man..went shopping wif Jeff..he claims its his turn to shop and that i m banned from shopping cos i have been overindulging haha..oh well..in the end, i still managed to get a pair of slippers from Charles and Keith!! Hiaks..and my poor boy didnt get anything..hehe..Then headed down to PS for dinner and coffee..then caught Ghost Train with Jeff's uni friends plus jimmy and ben...The show was alrite, wasnt as scary as i have anticipated it to be..at least this horror show had a storyline..Show ended at around 11 45pm..then decided to go Partyworld for some ktv...from 1 am - 5 am!! wahh..this has gonna be the first time i sing till 5am!!! It was quite fun and it got a little too crazy when jimmy came down with 5 of his other guy friends...Haa..then again, it was all gd fun...
Finally went to bed at around 6 am...*yawnzz*
Yeah..that sort of sums up wat i have been doing for past week and wkends..alrite i gotta go now, mr jeff is hurrying mi..gonna get a thumb drive for myself..then going for dinner with his family to celebrate Fathers Day..will blog later ya...

See my brown eyes??

aww..bliss...

Ms Paul paul and Jo jo

Us at mw

Many kisses to the bday gal!!

Another week passed..

Just got back from Xueling's bday bbq..it was good thought at first i felt a little awkard when left wif her friends alone..Nevertheless it was gd after awhile when things were warmed up after that..Food was gd!! And i realised bbq mushrooms are awsomeee!!
The location of the bbq was really really gd..its at this new block of apartment just beside Parkway with a name we cldnt quite know how to pronounce..it was some Cote thingee lah..
Wah..i wonder when i can get to own sth like that man..
In all, it was an enjoyable nite and i hope the bday gal enjoyed herself too..and im really happy xueling liked the present we gave her..:)
Ok lah..i shld go to bed now..cos its blue monday again tmr..sianz..its so sianz to have to work and not be able to enjoy even though im back..
Gd nite pple..will blog again..feeling too lazy to elaborate on more stuff and also relate the past few nights of enjoyment i had in the first week of being back here..
niteezz...

Depressed

Depressed is how i am feeling now. I feel down, irritated, alone, lost and not loved at all. I think i really might have depression without myself knowing it. i feel down cos the attachment ahead of me seems tough, i feel irritated due to the weather, due to the fact that i cannot see you now even though i miss u so much and that our conversation ended up in a quarrel, that you always have to ask me ' Why are you always like that huh?' There are times where i dont know how to explain why i do certain things, why i behave certain way..and this is the time where i cant answer you immediately cos i was busy holding back my tears, busy trying to piece together why i was feeling this way, trying to refrain from telling you i really do want to see you but know that its not such a gd idea to come over now cos you really should spend time at home. I cannot give you a definite answer to what i want cos i am a girl!! i certainly dont need to handle your impatient and bloody insensitive side of you now.
To you, i am just being unreasonable and throwing one of those tantrums again. To you, I AM ALWAYS LIKE THIS. Let it be then...

I feel lost cos i dont know what i want to do after i can finally complete the course. I regret my choice and hate it for feeling that way cos thats really no point in feeling that way now, cos its not gonna change anything.

I feel sad to see my grandfather deteriorating like that..

I hate to have to overcome obstacles to get things going, i dont feel like putting in any effort in doing anything..call me a quitter, a loser, a whatever. I dont care.

i am tired, i just want a break. I want to do whatever i feel like and not having to explain and please someone.

Just too bad..things are not going to go the way i want it to be cos the world just has to go in this sucky way...

1st weekend in singapore..

Im sitting in my room writing this!! Went MW last nite to celebrate Nara's bday..glad that she was so happy..hehe..
The music wasnt that gd last nite though..hopefully it will better nez wkend..that is if im going down again..

Sighz..was supposed to go out for coffee..but due to some stupid reason at home, i cannot go..can forsee alot more of such things happening in the future.so have to postpone till dinner..mafan.and this has once again confirmed one of my reasons abt my little relunctance in returning home..

oh yah the surprise for jeff went well..but he said he knew sth was gonna happen..chey..like real..if not he wldnt look so surprised wat...

Somehow i feel lost..well, i m happy i m back..but theres so much adjustments and getting used to, to do..even to my r'ships..am i normal?

Im scared..to the extent of feeling lost..

Last day of my studies

It is finally the last day of my studies in Newcastle!! I cannot believe I am typing this sentence hehe..By the way pple, I am typing this in a words document yesh..cos I don’t have my beloved internet access so I thought I still want to type this out to commemorate this special day!! But then again, even if I have internet access, I cannot post this cos I have got a plan in mind, that is to surprise Mr Jeff!! Hehe..hopefully by the time u all guys get to read this, I have successfully surprised him..Told him I am going back on the 11th..and had got the help of Jimmy to help mi find out his whereabouts so I can go down and surprise him!!

As I am typing this out, my hse mates are busy cooking their first meal of the day at 4.55 pm, it feels nice to be typing here while we joke and laugh..I love this kind of feeling..that makes me even more relunctant to leave..yesh I feel kinda sad that I am leaving…leaving the fun and freedom I have here. Then again, I am of course happy that I don’t need to be stuck in old boring Newcastle...
Today was spent tidying up the report we have been working on for the past 1 month..rushing to prepare my presentation slides..Surprisingly, I didn’t feel as anxious as I thought I would be considering the fact that I didn’t rehearse enough…But it went well!! So happy! Then after that we went for lunch at this Thai restaurant which served really good food..i ate cashew nut chicken with sweet spicy sauce and rice…then came back and had our assessments done..well, there are things which my supervisor pointed out which I feel its not what I am..just that circumstances has made it seem like that..oh well..cannot explain here too..sighz…Anyway on a lighter note, hehe..think we are going Goldbergs later for coffee..hehe…

But aiyah still have to pack..:( my belongings are all over the place!! Sianz..and the coach will be coming at 4.30 am later..means don’t need to sleep liaoz..sianz..Gonna be a panda when I see my mum tmr..

K lah gotta go now..see u all soonss my dear ppleee!!

Little women in little hats

My favourite girl on the R..shes so cute and pretttyyy

cute or wat?!?!

Can i not do work ?

Heya pple..back again in the library on a lazy saturday..have been here for the past 2 hrs and i didnt do any work! But have chatted, checked my mails, surfed friendster and blogs..and now the final stop *sobz sobz* blogging here..maybe i should blog really slowly so it will delay me from embarking on a long and arduous battle of wading through all the work waiting for mi..sighzz..

The light in the library is making mi feel unwell..and theres this m'sian guy i think from his accent sitting beside me who has quite successfully annoyed me..When i reached the lib, i walked over to an unoccupied lan point, but he was taking up all the space meant for another person..so i walked over and stood there, place my bag on the space and waited for him to shift..guess wat? he just turned his head and gave me a blank stare and made no attempt of making space..wat the?!! Hmph, of cos i just asked directly, 'can i have some space?!' The other 2 ang moh guys quickly shifted and apologised while that annoying msian guy just shifted without looking up...and he is v kpo as well loh..when i was uploading my pics from hp through the cable, he had to turn back and stare..and its a few times somemore! and for a couple of times have been trying to see whats on my screen..Cant he just mind his own business? Well, to counter that, i diaoed and glared at him whenever he looked again..stupid ass...

Winter is approaching and its so so cold :(..And the house is exceptionally cold!! i dont know why man..Esp in the wee hours of the night...Have been staying up quite a bit these days..of cos when i dont need to go for attachment..but i must say my hse mates are really like bats man..When i turn in they will still be up..and when i get up at 6 plus..that will be the time they go to bed..haha..
It feels nice when all the 4 us gathers at the living room and have a bit of a chat and laugh..it just gives mi some warmth to be laughing and all..

I will be going back singapore for good soon..though i have always been relunctant to stay here and all..i do feel sad when i know i wont be experiencing all this again..of cos im not talkin abt the hm sickness and all the study stress etc..but im definitely gonna miss the freedom i have here..and all the times i have spent and the things i have learnt..the different types of people i have met..the culture..Oh well..when i told one of my friend, he immediately exclaimed ' then what you want?!!' haha..ya i also dont know what i want..

better stop blogging now, if not i will feel sad all over again...

heya pple..TGIF!

Heya pple, feeling so tired now..for the past 2 days, as part of the project, i have been doing talks to pri sch children in a small and rural town called Kurri Kurri..Looking at those kids reminds mi of the times i spent working at a childcare centre after my diploma..Ang moh kids are so exceptionally cute! Esp the ones in kinder classes..arhh..and they have such beautiful blue eyes with sweeping long eyelashes! Took a few pics with the lil cuties today..will upload them when i have the chance ya..hehe..
Wah..Gonna eat mei cai kou rou for dinner..hehe..with compliments from my hse mate..who has the mood to do some cooking! hehe..

Just called mummy..its her birthday today!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAREST MUMMY! I LOVE U!! hehe..

k lah.gotta go now..will blog when i have the chance!

Finally back to my blogging..

Heya pple...im in the library now..not a gd day for mi..walked all the way from home to here with my heavy laptop..then realised theres only one last lan cable for mi..and its faulty..waited for an hr for a spare one..and took another 45 mins trying to figure out how to change the settings to connect to internet..bloody waste of time...
This is not a gd year for mi..everything seems to be going wrong...relationships, work..
Has anyone wondered how things can just change overnight? What i meant is, it seems like a situation/relationship/anything has been going on fine..then just becos of an incident/speech/action, it totally changed the entire way things were going on..like in a span of a few secs...human emotions and thoughts are just unfathomable..

Like my friend says for herself..i m starting to feel the same way like her...Jaded...

Gonna be little slow in my updates..

heya pple..i won't have regular internet access till the time i go back Singapore..so just wanna say i wont be blogging as regularly ya..Will update all of u again..miss my internet man...
Sighz..so much work to do..:(

Mothers' Day

Thanks to eric, for giving me the idea of posting my mum's pic..i have posted my granny's pic too..cos shes just like a mum to me..Jus called mummy just now at her workplace...hehe..it warms my heart to hear her being so happy over the fone..Had wanted to call my popo too but card mei you qian le :( Anyway mummy must have thought i would have forgotten this day cos for the past 2 yrs, i have sent her cards for this special day..Hiakz..

Because im here, i cant celebrate it with them..sighz. Anyhow, am gonna make it up to them..Next yr can bring them out liaoz! Missing them so much now..argghh..
*jo just tahan* Soon soon...

My dearest popo

My dearest mummy

Im called Yukiko Sanjo! hehe

Your Japanese Name Is...

Yukiko Sanjo

What's" your Japanese Name?

Hehe..new layout!!

Heya pple!! like my new layout?? MANY THANKS TO MS CHERYL...hiakz..she was the one that did everything for mi!! muackzz...

But huh, i seem to have lost my own entries..asked su su, she said have to go find the old html..hmm..but she told mi to wait..cos she was bz..cheryl not online also..sighzz..dont know how to do all this html thingee man...the most basic thing i know is how to add links..thats abt it haha...

Sighzz..i just gotta wait...but anyway..hope you guys like the new lookk!!

Searching for a new blog layout

Finally got to go out..was supposed to go for a movie as xueling was so nice once again to ask us out..but didnt make it on time in the end, so ended up at Goldberg's ( my fav cafe), sipping my muggacino and savouring the 'orgasmic' raspberry cheesecake..awwwssoommmeee..Xueling's mum joined us too! As it was still too early to go home, xueling suggested going down to block busters in the hope of renting some movies to watch but too bad it was already closed. Anyway, after 5 mins, i was in their dining rm eating the delicious fried bee hoon and drinking herbal chicken soup her mum has prepared..hehe..at 11 pm loh..after the sinful cheese cake..Thanks to kev for driving us to n fro..despite his attitude throughout the rides lah..hehe..
Hmm..would have loved to catch a movie, but hanging out instead of staying at home all the time was gd enough!! My mum would have loved it if i was like this back in singapore..hehe..too bad i m not..
Ya, i m looking for a nice blogskin..something that i can connect with when i look at it..too bad i dont have the patience, interest and talent to learn all that html coding and design my own blog skin..but ah er has so sweetly agreed to change the blog layout for mi after i have chosen one!! So sweeettt..found some nice ones liaoz..so..do wait for a new look ya..soon..hehe
Jeff is at MW AGAIN...oh well..the more he clubs, the further i will be away from my gucci keypouch! hahah..but he said he is gonna get it for mi!! yayy..*happy*

New block of attachment and home sick..

Heya pple..think the folks in Singapore must be enjoying their holiday huh...While the poor pple stuck here still have to attend uni/work. Today is the first day of my new attachment block..the last block in aust..New placement means new set of work and load of stress..Our supervisor sure had a lot of tasks for us boy...Oh well..wat to do, just have to endure and hope for everything to go well..
As we were seated in the kitchen during lunch time, rest of the staff were sharing their views about some stuff..i cannot rem wat stuff they talked about..cos i wasnt paying much attention i guess..but what came to my mind was that everyone seem to share and agree a common view point abt that topic..what if you the only one that seem to disagree? Would you state your viewpt and let the others judge your character because that viewpoint you have got dont seem to reflect a very positive side of your thinking? I say they 'judge your character' cos thats what a group will do isn't?If everyone agrees with what the group had said, and then the odd one out will just seem to be the black sheep, cos he/she just dont agree with what they had said? Perhaps for the more bold and gutsty type, they would have gladly said whatever that was on their mind and didnt care less about what others might think huh...

Hmm..I wonder if being in the same group or a workgroup for a period of time will harmonise your thoughts with the group? I dont know man..i just know that i felt detached when i sat there..listening to them but didnt think likewise..I guess prolly cos i didnt know them at all, since it was the first day of work and im just a student there...So better just keep quiet and listen..or rather just concentrate on my food, gd enough oredi...
A wave of homesickness hit me and i just wanted to be home even more...

Relaxed weekend..

~ Friday~
Heheh...the day has finally came where the attachment has finally ended! And i passed..*pheww* To end of the attachment, we bought a strawberry yoghurt cake and a thank you card for the dept..We were allowed to leave earlier too! So reached home at around 4 plus after going to uni to hand in some assignments..Took a snooze..but i couldnt sleep..dont know why man...Next was dinner, we had corn chips with a bean mix with melted cheese on it..it was awsomee..April came over and guess what she bought??!! Heheh..Krispy Kreme!! How timely was it..hehehehe...Anyway...we just had dinner and then watched The Sweetest Thing on tv...

~ Saturday~
Went shopping with april at Charlestown..Reached at around 10 plus..had our brunch..i finally had my craving satisfied..but semi only...still missing my sashimi..and i want to go for jap food when i go back!! Anyone kind enough to bring mi?! Anyway..we went to the pet shop to look at the cutie doggies and all of them were sleeping..lying on their sides..April was very much amused by the sight hehe..reminds mi of Ms Piggy..Jeff's family dog...shes one hottie i tell ya! And i miss her heaps...Oh yah, i shall pose a pic of her after this entry..just to show u all how cute she is..hehe..Didnt buy much for myself, wanted to get this Bloom lipgloss in the shade named Girlie..but they dont have!! Arrgghh..i m gonna buy it when i go to the airport!! Though theres Bloom in Sin, its much cheaper here...And bought 2 bandeau for myself and for Mich as well..Glad i finally got what she wanted...:) And some Bonds briefs for Mr Jeff who has been reminding mi to get them numerous times liaoz...in assorted colours! hehe..
oh yah..and a pair of white earrings for myself...For my guy friends reading this, have u all fallen asleep yet? hehehe...Girls huh! hehe..

Yeah..that was half the precious lazy sat gone :( Gd times always flies..and bad times feel like they last forever...Alrite, shall go back to my book.Started reading Memoirs of a Geisha last nite..i find it quite interesting so far...Havnt been reading much ever since Uni...I used to read so much more back in sec sch days...Will go to the library and lug back 6 - 8 books..and i will start 2 books at one time haha..that was how much i liked reading...And now, all i read are journal articles to complete my assignments, nutrition articles, and text books..borringg...yeah..so i am gonna enjoy my book....

Yesh? Enough picture taking pls..

bleahh...

my craving semi satisfied..

Zzz..

Corn chips and dip

1 more day...

heya! Hiakz..thankies to all of you for the support and encouragement..it didnt turn out too badly hehe..*relieved* is the word! Firstly, my patient was such a sweet and dear 80 yr old man..Despite the old age, he was so lively and humourous!! That had made my counselling easier! But it was sad cos he just suffered from a heart attack and then now diagnosed to have diabetes. Anyhow, its good to know he will be discharged tmr! Yayy...
Anyway, i hope this is my last assessment..skarli..tmr..supervisor say do another one! ARGhh...hope not man...
Bought a yoghurt cake from Michel's Pattisserie and a thank you for the dept..We were hoping it will be a more relaxed day for us..like handing over and stuff..but we have imagined the worst, most assessments and to review ALL the patients we have had for the week..haha..oh well...Hmm..i can sense the lightheartness of my entry today man..
Feeling so thirsty now, must be the MSG from the turkish kebab i was hungrily chomping away for dinner just now plus the coffee..oh velz...coffee is yummy...and a life saver for the chronically- lack- of- sleep me....

2 more days to the end of the torturous placement

Just 2 more days...tmr will be a test to the skills and pointers learnt for this 5 weeks of hard training, work and torture..Gonna be assessed tmr while i counsel and educate the patient..scary man..i always seem to be stumbling on my words when my supervising dietitian is near..and when shes not around..simply ' ah kai liao' with the patient loh!! Wish me luck pple..need heaps of it..just let mi pass plssss...
Can just imagine how late i will be sleeping till on SATURDAY morning/afternoon haha...cos fri will be the day we gotta hand in the tough tough assignment i was wincing about that i would fail..sighzz..
Oh welzz..just hope everything will turn out fine!

Sometimes Love Just Aint Enough

Now, I don't want to lose you, but I don't want to use you just to have somebody by my side.
And I don't want to hate you,I don't want to take you, but I don't want to be the one to cry.
And that don't really matter to anyone anymore.
But like a fool I keep losing my place and I keep seeing you walk through that door.

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust. There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.

Now, I could never change you, I don't want to blame you.
Baby, you don't have to take the fall.
Yes, I may have hurt you, but I did not desert you.
Maybe I just want to have it all. It makes a sound like thunder, it makes me feel like rain.
And like a fool who will never see the truth, I keep thinking something's gonna change.

And there's no way home, when it's late at night and you're all alone. Are there things that you wanted to say?And do you feel me beside you in your bed, there beside you, where I used to lay?
And there's a danger in loving somebody too much, and it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch.
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough.
Baby, sometimes, love... it just ain't enough.
Oh, Oh, Oh, No.

Great dinner...

Just came back from dinner with april and derek..Dinner was gd and very very filling ah!!! Think i put on 1 kg liaoz after eating so muchhh. We had curry, beans with mushrooms, xiaobaichye with mushrooms, and fried fish with sweet dark sauce...then after that we had ice cream with some baileys..then peanut cookies, then M&Ms, then coffee/tea and more M & Ms..arrgghh..fat fat liaoz...
Anyway..april and kavi decided to try drinking the curry gravy wif a straw! eekkss..apparently they enjoyed it pretty much..while derek and i were contented just dipping into it with toast haha..
After dinner, we just lazed around, chatting, sharing our experiences about our pri, sec sch lives, work, marriages etc..it was good to have some of our social life re-ignited again haha..after been extinguished for such a long time cos of the sucky place we are in and heaps of work we have had to handle...
Ya and april's rabbit grew so quickly! my gdness..the last time i saw it, i didnt rem it being so big!! Wanted to carry it but decided not to..just in case it decided to bite mi...haha..i still prefer doggies!!
Yayy..no monday blues cos its a holiday tmr!! hiakzz..

Fastest way to finish up the curry!!

April's super sized rabbit - Mooey

Chubby or wat?!!

Nightfall..

Its almost 3 am, and i m still up. Facing the laptop, familiar chinese ballads playing at a comfortable and soothing volume, table lamp on my right, with its white rays diffusing and illuminating to the other areas of the dark room, the constant humming from the air conditioner..
I relish the night..the kind of peace and quietness that is in total contrast with day. I work better at night, where ideas and inspirations come more easily to me. It is the time where i think and reflect most too..abt my problems, about the happenings of the day, about people, plans, anticipations and worries for tommorrow...Past, present and future...i 'night -dream' too...
Of cos, the night will invoke different emotions depending on what mood the person has at that time..
~Now, is the quiet side of jo where the night evokes a feeling of serenity~

Night in some other time...most often in Singapore...
The party animal in jo will be awakened ( normally) on a saturday nite..cos night to jo then will mean having fun with her girlies/friends/bf at her favourite club with favourite music and alcohol..Total contrast from the peace and quietness...Facing the dancefloor, familiar retro hits blaring at a volume loud enough to vibrate your bones, flashing lights above me, the constant buzz from the other party animals..
I relish the night, in a different perspective, where all worries and stress will be temporarily be forgotten while i dance the night away..It is the time where i just enjoy myself, all i plan about is which spot we should stay put at, at the dance floor, what drink to order next and whether i should just smile at the cute guy dancing opp me hahaha...:p

Didnt plan for this entry to turn out this way actually..but i like how it turned out though..

say cheesseee

April's 20th birthday bbq

Another day to friday!

Something touched me when i was at the wards today..was chatting with one of my elderly patient and tried to ask him to recall what he had eaten for his meals yesterday. He kept saying he has forgotten and at that time, his wife was around..Then he just kept turning back to her to ask her what he has eaten, the way he turned and called her in his soft and feeble voice ' Love, what did i eat last nite?' ..And his wife knew everything he ate! I mean down to the number of spoonfuls of dessert he had! Woww..It instantly warmed my heart man...

Thus is the love i call everlasting love..the kind of love in times of sickness and health, in times of youth and aged..

Talking abt that..just brought to mind sth i want to share...Having experienced talking and working with the people here, or rather in the healthcare environment, i noticed those who are older than us will address us by 'love, sweetie, darl'. For e.g if you asked them a question, they will say ' yes love', ' not a problem sweetie'...even if i have only spoken to them for the first time..of cos its more often used my matured ladies...somehow, it just made me felt their friendliness and warmth more...of cos there are a minority around who are not as forthcoming and friendly...
And one more thing..i can conclude that those who are asians, or rather chinese looking medical staff/interns/medical officers who speak with an aussie accents think they are the biggest shots around and are v snobbish! yucks...their policy is oni talk to aussies and those who sound like themselves...they wont make small talk to a STUDENT dietitian who is extremely chinese looking and of cos dont speak with THEIR ACCENT..bloody irritating..
oh well...

Oh yah, i mus mention i cooked chicken stew today..haha cos my stews always turn out too thin..this time, i thought was better haha.. but still need to figure out the optimum cooking time for chicken drumsticks! The chicken was cooked..but overcooked liaoz :( oh velz..but dont taste that bad leh!! hehehe..
Talking abt food, i was craving so much for sushis and sashimis..hehe..my nick was Jo ~ craving for sushis and sashimi..and i have never guessed jeff's nick to be astrodon ~ craving for Jo...hehe..sweet huhhh..hiakz k lah..better stop before you move ur mouse to the x button hahaha...

The big gaping hole

Whenever i feel down, i feel im in a large gaping hole, in that hole lies heaps of horrible stuff : demoralizing vibes, sadness, loneliness, uncertainty, sighzz....and no matter how hard i try to pull myself out, i cant seem to lift myself up..the feeling sux big time.That hole will always be there for me..more often when i m here...its just a matter of being in it, closer to it or further to it, that will oni apply on wkends...Before i could do anything to stop myself from being drawn in there, im already in it..arrgghhh..
Sighz, just let mi pass this plss..just pass happy enough oredi!! But i dont sit down and just fret abt it and not do anything abt it..i try to think hard and work on the assignment ..sighzz..im so darn worried and this has to go on for god knows how long..yesh i m talkin abt the assignment that will determine if i pass or fail this subject which also means if i can graduate or not..not oni that..still have the competencies i need to pass too..
sighzz...

Dinner at William St

Just got back from Xueling's place..her parents came for her convo and invited us to her place for dinner..wahh..it was a scrumptious spread, had salad, cabbage and pork soup, pan fried salmon, kong bak, stir fried brussel sprouts, omelette and a potato and carrot stew..yummm...Her mum is a really nice lady.. and dad was a man of few words but still v nice lah..And her mum reminded mi of my mum! I miss my mummmyyy...
And we were in the car when winson kindly drove us there and back..and i was just saying how amazed i was that almost all my friends' mums are great cooks man, my grandma, my mummy...Mich, jie's, pauline, jeff's, xueling's and all my aunties who are mums...wahh..all great cooks leh! I hope i will be able to cook as well when i m a mum hahaha...
k lah..think i shld call my mum and tell her i miss her!!

No mood to do work..

Its such a beautiful day today..Clear blue skies, sunny and all..Just like how a sunday should be...Wah, simply no mood to do work! Was on the fone wif jeff last nite and he was asking me where i wanted to go for hols at the end of the yr..It felt nice to be planning and all but somehow, i felt kinda sad when i thought abt it again this morning..I think im mad...I wonder if anyone feels the same as me? Like normally pple will look forward to the happy things, but i felt more sianz cos its still so far away before i can really get there? Maybe its just the monday blues? Dont know man...

you are darkslateblue #483D8B

Your dominant hue is blue, making you a good friend who people love and trust. You're good in social situations and want to fit in. Just be careful not to compromise who you are to make them happy. Your saturation level is medium - You're not the most decisive go-getter, but you can get a job done when it's required of you. You probably don't think the world can change for you and don't want to spend too much effort trying to force it. Your outlook on life can be bright or dark, depending on the situation. You are flexible and see things objectively.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

Thoughts i have to pen (blog) down...

In the midst of my struggle and immense reluctance to work on a a very crucial assignment,..Thoughts about my friends and the feelings they have evoked came suddenly..And i have to blog it...

Friends are so important to me and i must say they play such a huge part in my life..especially my emotions, thoughts, moods, the way i am, decisions...and just so many aspects where my limited command of the english language cannot describe enough..Of cos some friends do disappoint too..and some may say, these pple are not considered friends if they could evoke such an emotion in me..well..i dont know too...Friends are meant to be there for one another, to support and encourage and be not judge...of cos that is largely dependent on the depth of friendship...

Finally mustered the courage to ask for a friend's msn and msged her after the childish me (that was in the days where irc prgram was so popular, at least for me) decided to ignore her because of some stupid gal friend issue..Dont know why i just had this impluse to do it..well, not a silly act..it was something i wanted to do long time ago but didnt have the time and courage to do it, cos i was afraid she would still be angry with me and i didnt want my apology to be rejected flatly..:) All is gd now, at least for me..cos i did manage to talk to her and seems like the long time problem has been resolved..yeahh..

It was gd to see a friend so delighted when she got a little surprise from me..it just feels so good when i see my friends happy...i feel happy too..:)

Another gal friend have been so troubled by the infamous emotion so powerful that all Man succumb to at one point or another..~love~. It feels terrible when you know that shes gonna be the one to be so hurt in the end, however, she feels happy with the decision she has made and is truly happy for some time...but now, the decision she has made is taking its toll on her..and shes all sad and weary..sighzz..She has seen it coming sooner or later, but was too emotionally involved to pull herself up before it came to this stage..I feel for her..I couldnt bring myself to tell her she shouldnt have gotten deeper into it..and now its hurting her..The least i can do is to be there for her and listen...and to tide through the dark times with her...I hope the dark skies will be over soon..

One of my long lost friend i have been thinking abt finally came online!! Hehe..boy, am i happy to catch up wif him..though it was only for a few mins..it was gd to hear he has been and is doing well and working towards his interests and goals in life!! This friend of mine is such a wacky fella and never fails to irritate me to the core when i hang out wif him haha..nevertheless, he is still one of the gd guy friends i can talk to! Way to go dude!! Total support to him in his future endeavours!!

To another friend that had suddenly been keeping in contact after losing it for so many yrs..he has been feeling down lately too and his nicks on msn are worrying..Many a times, I would have loved to keep you company online..however unable to due to my assignments and sianz moods...I hope the dark skies will clear up for you soon and may you find a gal that could bring you the joy and love u deserve ya! hehehe...

...Such are the thoughts and emotions of Jo...

Drained..

Drained is the word..to have to be stressed up for the whole day at attachment and then come home and do somemore work. Sighz, have got a presentation tmr somemore..going to die from stress already..Of cos, the morning started with a shooting from my supervisor...then at the end of the day, also kena maligned..This is how it went, i was supposed to page her once i am done seeing all the pts i had for the day and give her her a run down of what i have done for each pt..I juz gotta sit down in the office and was about to page her..then suay suay, she past and saw me. Before i can open my mouth to say anything, she said this : ' Oh so you are here, you should just have paged me instead of sitting around waiting for mi!' Like what the?!! I was so pek cek, i said to her defiantly, ' I was about to page you!!!' then she jus went ' oh issit'...wahlau ay..Being on this placement has taught me to be smart..to be able to explain myself well and tell them whatever i have thought through and done..Cos to them, something not presented to them or said means I NEVER DO, I NEVER THOUGHT ABT IT.
They are supposed to be non- judgemental!! And its one of the ethics of being a dietitian loh!! And i m sure in most health care professions..In fact, to me, we should live with that kind of principle too wat!! sighzz..
I have also learnt that we should cut pple some slack..to give pple a chance to explain themselves before judging...and also not to be so uptight about pple's misdoings...Have also learnt that it is important to speak with tact to pple around us..and not expect pple around me to know what I have gone through even though it was a really bad bad day for myself and that my moods are really affected...the poor innocent pple around me are definitely not going to know wats going on, Can imagine how offended or sad my friends will be like if i suddenly just talk to them in a curt way or just simply give black face when they have simply no idea what had gone wrong....
So i am sorry my friends if i have done that to you all before..I will keep this in mind and always learn to be more patient and try to change!! :)

Oh yah..its Jialiang's bday today..Happy Birthday Jialiang!

Boring sat

Hmm..yesh its a boring day. Slept in till 1 pm, got up and did some preparation for bloody blue monday..It was still alrite for last nite's party..managed to boogie a little for the initial part of the session..and the music became less and less boogie-able and unfamiliar..People start to fall asleep or knocked out by the overdose of alcohol. I didnt feel much of it till i reached home..3 drinks and i was already feeling it. Blame it on the lack of drinking for the past mth!!
Though the music wasnt that gd, it was gd to see my friends though..Left at around 2 plus and with much persuasion from Xueling and i, we managed to coerce the guys to drop by at Macs for some food..

I felt much happier yest nite..like i told my friends, i always feel withdrawn the next day after a nite's clubbing session when i m here..

Emptiness and detached was how i felt..a friend told me its gd that you do try to share whatever that has been going on in ur life..i dont blame you..but i cant help feeling left out..perhaps it is the loneliness, maybe its a saturday and i am not anywhere but stuck in the room preparing for reporting to my supervisor which i dont look forward to cos it means more bombarding and being pointed out to a zillion things i have missed out..the brief reporting tone i hear over the fone dont make mi any happier and enthusiatic to share my experience last nite..u didnt even ask...

Selfish and keeping you in a freezer till i go back were your quotes..As far as i know myself, i m not definitely not as bad as you deem me in that tactless sentence..

Another week has gone past..yayy..

It finally friday..think my blogs on fri are gonna have this kinda similar opening line! Friday marks the end of the torturous week and the beginning of the wonderful wkends! I dont want to end up with a job that i will feel miserable for the whole of the wkdays and only think about the wkends..Oh well..dont think so much..gotta be able to graduate first!! Aiyah, nothing interesting to blog abt this week..cos attachment sux!! Just glad that its another week gone!!
Just had 1 and a half packet of indomee with cabbage, corn and egg! Nice nice..but im feeling so full now! argghh...and sleepy too..
Hmm..a few friends around me have been feeling really low nowadays..to all of you out there : hang on there ya!! Actually huh, i shld say that to myself too..havnt been feeling v happy nowadays...
Wahh i m so sleeppyyy...and its oni 8.30pm can..the lack of sleep for the entire week has taken its toll on me man...i m gonna look no different from a panda by the time i reach singapore man..
K lah..gotta go prepare soon i hope..hehe did i mention i m going clubbing? yesh its the SSA dance nite in this club called frostbites..yeahh..hope it will be fun there..then again, i dont hold any high hopes liaoz..cos the clubbing scene in boring old newcastle is PATHETIC! Hopefully the friends who are gonna be there will make a big difference!!
alritey..shall update on my outing tmr!

The long awaited wkends!

Yayy..first week of placement is over..4 more weeks to go for this block..sighzz...But anyhow, just gotta endure lah..complaining so much wont make the weeks away sooner..TGIF! Finally have got some time to recharge by sleeping innnn...and just do nothing for abit..cos just handed in an assignment...have been sleeping for oni 5 - 6 hrs everyday..yesh yesh..i m a slow worker and i just like to stay up to chat haha..despite the fact that i need to wake up like at 6 plus in the morning..But i have got to prepare to present a case study next wed to the rest of the dietitians *glupz* Shant think abt it now..:(

Ya..and so now, im just nuaing around, we are even too nuaz to cook dinner haha..but soup and toast is still yumm... Just surfing...watching a bit of tv..sighz..boring fri nite..I miss those wkends where i will def be out chilling wif frens..shopping..movies..arggghh.....if not i will be at home wif my babi..Talking abt my babi..he has been clubbing so much these days!! haiyoh..how can he go without me! Hmph! To mdmwong somemore!! *ay jimmy, dont keep asking my dear to go mw hor!* still say u are gonna take care of him.hmph!

And i must mention, i have been dropping alot of hair these days!! its so freaking scary can...arrgghh *prays to god, no more hair loss pls...*I cant seem to piece a cause to my hair loss!! I didnt change my shampoo/conditioner wat! Haiyo...Friends say its stress..i choose to believe its the water/air here!! :(

K lah..i m just blogging rubbish now..gotta watch Hitch now...in the comfort of my room heh..

Beginning of another attachment

Tommorrow marks the day of another block of placement..its gonna last for 5 weeks..this time, its clinical placement..Hmm..i dont feel anything abt it right now..i dont know if its gd or bad...of cos i hope it will go well...Mum is in perth for holidays..she just smsed mi, telling me she went for fishing, and one of my aunt had sea sick while shes fine..and got heaps of fish..can have yu sheng..haha shes funnie lah..Hmm..i miss my mum..I am proud of her..to me, shes such a capable woman..single handledly raised mi, and able to send mi here for studies ( yesh i m beginning to feel guilty for all that complaints and contemplation of giving up) and has a career of her own despite the fact that she didnt have so called established qualifications...and she has a great sense of humour! hehe..She always make mi laugh with her corny jokes and i enjoy listening to her experiences and incidents at work...However, do stay clear when shes in one of her bad moods man...she has got a fiery temper! haha..

Hey, i didnt plan this entry to be on my mum...its amazing how your thoughts just run when you are writing..anyhow..wish me luck for tmr pple..i need it..
Will blog again..

~ 10 weeks left~

At Cheryl's with pretty boy and Jay Chou lookalike..:p

Must take the signage to show that i have been there! hhaha..

hehe..Kawaii! Japan?!

Surfers Paradise!!

Taiwanese Grilled Chicken Rice!!

My home for the 3 1/2 days in Brisbane

Yayy..satisfied shoppers from Harbourtown

Finally learning how to play mahjong!

The 24hr pancake house..used to be a church

Bananarama pancake at 3 am!

In brisbane..

Its my 3rd day hereee..and its awsome! Havnt had the time to blog since the first day i reached here..Just came back from Harbourtown..its a hub with a lot of warehouses!! Hiakz..and i spent $30 oni..in which i bought 2 caps, a pouch and a top!! hehe..so cheappp...really happy with my purchases boy...Will be going to sugin's place later..then clubbing i think...Yeah..let mi try to recall what i did on the first day before i forget...will post some pics later when cheryl sends them to me when i get back..
First day - Thanks to sugin and greg for fetching mi from the airport..then went to this shopping centre called Indoroophilly for lunch..then headed to cheryl's place in the city...walked to the Southbank to catch a movie with cheryl and her friends..watched The pacifier..which was really funny and lighthearted..and i enjoyed it!!
2nd day - Was supposed to have a picnic at the botanic gardens but there was a slight drizzle before we left home..so we ended up eating at home haha..fortunately, the skies cleared and we set off to the botanic garden anyhow and toured around QUT..the building is so much newer than my uni..and cos its v near the botanic garden, it gave a very serene and relaxed feeling to it..The botanic garden is along the Brisbane River...Then we headed to Gold coast, surfers paradise!! Heheh..thanks to luke, who drove us there and back..and at the end of the trip, he was complaining of a stiff knee..hehe..thanks so much dude...Yeah..Gold coast was gd!! It felt like i was in California..opp the beautiful beach, was a hub of shops and al fresco dining...and as we walked further up, there was a jap corner where there were so many jap restuarants!! heeh will post a pic of it..and i really felt i was in japan for awhile! hahaha...then dinner was at Sunny bank...Sunny bank was the equivalent of a town center for asians..there were supermarkets, shops and restuarants owned by koreans, taiwanese, japanese..and we felt we were at china/taiwan for a bit hahahaha...dinner was gd cos i was ravenous with hunger!! I had grilled chicken chop rice from this taiwanese shop...then as it was a friday, there was sth like a night market at southbank, the same area where i watched the movie on the first day...got some earrings and i must say it was a really nice place...think cool air, relaxed..joyful singing by buskers...warm lighting...lake...yeah...it was really nice..
Then we headed down to this club called Embassy...cheryl's frens were all gathered at her place and waiting for 12 am...cos apparently Amy (cheryl's fren) said that the clubs will be opened after 12am..cos of Easter...ya..at first we thought the clubs were gonna be closed cos the entire city was like a dead town when we went down earlier to the 7-11..Oh yah, i must add, cheryl lives in the city..which is so convenient and accessible...her apartment is really nice too...double storeyed with 2 bed rooms, a living rm, a balcony, kitchen, 2 bathrooms...cool...The club was ok lah..the music wasnt fantastic but i enjoyed myself anyhow...
Yeah..Ok lah..i gotta go down to meet sugin and greg...will blog later with pics..hopefully!

Last day of my first block of attachment here..

Yayy..its the last day of my food service attachment! And also 2nd last day of going to uni for lectures..i think i like to attend lectures..in big lecture halls..haha..too bad those lecture hall days were long gone since yr 2..Lectures have been held in small tutorial rooms since last sem..prolly cos of the small grp we have..
I will be going Brisbane tmr..for a short break..as i was packing, i thought to myself if it was gonna be a gd choice to go for a holiday..no, nothing to do with my girlies i am gonna meet there..i am looking forward to it, no doubt abt that gals!! hehe....just that as i was reading through my assignment, i felt guilty..its gonna be due on the same week i return and each qn has got to be answered in around 2 - 3 pages!! there are like 5 questions!! On top of that, i will start another hellish placement on tues man...
Oh velz..thought i should bring my notes there haha..to make myself feel less guilty and hopefully attempt a qn or two..if theres time..i doubt so man..cheryl has oredi told mi we are going shopping tmr afternoon..then later she asked if i wanted to go ktv at nite...haha..greg and sugin have so kindly offered to pick mi up from the airport and are gonna have lunch together...
It feels gd inside to be loved by friends and that they are looking forward to meeting you...:)

The wkends just zoomed past..

Wah, i cannot believe it..Its time for me to sleep soon..the wkends just zoomed past like that..Must be the half day burnt at work on Sat.but at least we managed to go shopping at Charlestown after that..I had a hard time trying to decide what to eat for lunch, in the end i settled for oporto's grilled 1/4 chicken meal..and only when i set down to eat then i realised that it was wat dearie ordered when he came over to visit! hehe..that certainly makes the meal even more delicious...After we have filled our stomachs, it was shopping time! Guess i was tired out by the whole week's work and early waking times..plus the heavy bag i had to lug around..i was so sleepy and tired throughout the whole thing..Managed to buy a pair of striped pants that cost oni $15! haha..and a pair of leggings for colder days to wear with my skirts...
Then sunday came..did some work..watched Constantine...this is my 2nd time watching it and those fuzzy parts became much clearer this time..hah..mi slow lah...and yes i mus mention, its my babi's convocation today!! Congrats dearie..its a pity i cannot be there but nevertheless i m very happy and proud of u! hehe..Though its not some PhD but still u worked hard and deserved it...so yeahhh!! Sighz..cannot wait for my own...Su, my cousin had her convo not long ago too, murdoch..and she has got no hat or watever u call that..the square thingee...how weird is that..she said UWA dont have also...but curtin has haha..and shes excited abt it...( shes doing another degree at curtin) ya..wahlau..how can she do another degree without a long long break?!! Definitely not for me man!!

Alrite..time to sleep..missing jeff again...

Rainy...

Its raining now..hope its not the start of the dreadful winter, not so soon pls..Winter makes me feel so gloomy..Though not winter yet, but i feel moody...Have been feeling like this for the past few days...Words like incompetent, useless, slow just comes to my mind when i think of myself..Really felt so demoralised..And all the more makes mi feel that i shldnt be here in the first place...Sighz..
Think i like to blog at night...Nightfall makes mi think..it makes mi miss as well..oh well...night is also the time when Jeff calls...But he hasnt called yet...perhaps he is busy...
I just wish for everyone to be happy..including myself...soon...

Lessons they never taught in lectures..

Before i came over for studies, i was more or less prepared to be faced with loneliness, to be more independent, and all that stuff pple will tell you before you go over..however no one told mi the content on the following lessons:

Lesson 1 : To learn how to ASK FOR help..
When you are in a foreign land, be prepared to ask for help, when i say help, i really mean help in all ways..they can include transport to attachment place at an unearthly hr ie 6am, space to just store your stuff for some time ie your belongings or food, someone to open your new spaghetti sauce jar ..and be humble..cos if you r too proud to ask for help, either you are v capable that you can handle everything, or you just cant get things done.

Lesson 2: To bug the pple here till you get what you want, i mean in terms of service especially.
No offence to the pple down under..but true personal experiences and a recent one of kavi, she gotta bug the IT pple for almost a week to get her internet up when they could settle it like less than 10 mins..And to think that they actually suggested they will need 3 days to get it done..my gdness..that also applies to repairing of spoilt fridges...in our room!! My gdness, the fridge had already been spoilt for a week, that is before we moved in..and now its oredi the 2nd week and still no new fridge..again..we had to bug our way to a small single compartment fridge that is placed just bside my table..that will nicely lead us to lesson 3..

Lesson 3: Be prepared that you have to attend to leaking fridges..
As i have mentioned, we have got a temporary fridge while the people here take a million yrs to get a new one...it was set at too cold a temperature cos we found our vegs, tofu etc frozen..so we raised the temp..But alas, the fridge decided to melt on us and flooded our food with water..arrgghh..so you have to learn to place tupperwares strategically to catch the falling water, place your foods in plastic bags to protect them and also to turn down the temperature again..

Life is just full of experiences isn't? Till then..wif more lessons...lol...

I wonder...

I have never questioned if my friends around me will be there for me or not in times of trouble..Rather, i presume some will..that is those who are really close to me...Its not because i feel i deserve it, however i have this faith that the friendships we have built are strong and are able to go through thick and thin with me..just like how that attitude is in me for my close friends.. To have your friend go through thick and thin with you unconditionally is indeed a rare find...and its when they really go through the hard times and not only just mere words...

And how about ur family and loved ones: spouse/ partner? Have you ever wondered if they will throw you in the lurch where you need help the most? Stories I have heard are of pple in the family avoiding some relatives because of money problems..gf leaving his bf because he lost his job...same goes for the married..Yes, vows are exchanged when you have decided to walk the aisle with the one, however, can all of us really take the test and reality when problems really crop up? I guess no one can for sure say yes they will..including myself...

I admire those who have the patience and strength to go through all hardships with the people they love even though they have personal burdens as well...i really do...

Back in newcastle..

Sighz..i m back in australia oredi..just got back this afternoon..Everything just happened so quickly that i feel like im dreaming..yest nite, i was still at home with jeff and my family..and now im back here, stuck in this horrible place, be faced with all the work and stress that will be rushing our way...
Ya..everyone says 3 mths is gonna zip past, i wished it will go past faster..or rather i hate this transition period the most..getting used to torture from bliss..
Anyway i must comment that the flight back here today wasnt very pleasant..cos there was so much turbulence!! and we even got awoken by the violent shaking in the middle of our sleep...so scary...and after that, everytime the plane shook, my heart will beat faster..
And the weather is getting cold again..i suspect i have totally forgotten about it and packed the wrong clothes here!! sighz..hope not man...
Sianz..need to go back to sch tmr and report back to the lecturer about our attachment in singapore, take my stuff from storage, go supermarket..kaoz..so many things to do!!

2nd last day of torture!

Hello pple..long time no blog!! No time no time!! yeah but anyway its the 2nd last day of the torture!! You can imagine how relieved i am boy!!
Ok lah..gotta go oredi, if not i will be late for work again..over slept for the past 2 days..Will blog again ya...