3rd day of my massage..and i really do hope it works! Cannot stand the sight of the loose bulge at my lower abdomen!!

The massage is not too bad, if only it was for 2 hours instead of 1 haha..greedy! Well, at least its time for me to relax without having to attend to Daryl for awhile..But it felt a little painful esp when she massage lady massaged my lower abdomen..
The binding with the cloth is the one that really needs sheer tolerance! Its super tight and restrictive that you will be forced to sit and stand up straight, it felt so uncomfortable as i wasnt used to it and even my breathing seemed restricted!! But i endured till 12 hours before releasing my bounded body! haha..

2nd day, better, i think i tolerated till 14 - 15 hours..Massage lady bounded the cloth a bit lower compared to the first day so that it restricted even my thighs..the cloth was tightening onto my thighs so much that it was too painful to bear..esp when i sat down..And since i had to move around much more at night to attend to bb, i surrendered..

3rd day today, feedback to massage lady about the pain around the thighs and it felt so much better today cos she adjusted the cloth..hope i can keep it on till tomorrow morning!!

It had been a totally new experience for me and Jeff for these few weeks..I will call this heavy duty on the job training! From trying to get bb to latch on, to figuring out how to use the bottles (Yes, no one told me you even had to learn to position the bottles at an angle for bb to suck properly!!), from working out how much to feed bb..and the list goes on..

I dont know how i can still survive with intermittent sleep time..Daryl wakes up almost every 3 hours for feeds..and sometimes it goes on more than that, he will cry for milk, feed him, change nappy, refuses to be put down and finally after carrying him for an hour, he falls asleep, then its time for me to express milk..after everything is over, i realise its an hour to his next feed!!

Am still adapting to all these challenges and i was definitely feeling the blues for the first couple of weeks, cried alot too..Am still feeling down at times now esp with my very inadequate milk production and esp when i hear friends around me doing total breast feeding or able to produce enough milk for their bb at each feed even with expressing..I know its silly to compare but somehow i feel so guilty for not being able to provide for my bb..

Another first time for me is to undergo the op, or rather the c-section. We had opted for bb to be out on the 5th April after consulting Stephen and before that, i was so worried that Daryl might decide to surprise us with an earlier labour, thank gdness he didnt but strange enough,i felt contractions the night before i went for the c! They were not the usual Braxton Hicks but they were painful and they came at regular intervals..

Experience at the operating theatre was scary!! The numbness waist down felt queer too..but given a choice, i would still have opted for the same..It was such a great relief when i first saw bb..Cos at least i didnt have to wait till i was awake to see him..Am glad hubby was with me throughout the entire op, would have felt so alone and helpless..

Next stage, is to get back in shape too! Hopefully i can start on my massage next week without my wound hurting too much..

Till then, will blog again when Daryl allows me to..

~38 weeks 2 days~

Last weight taken at gynae a week ago: 56kg! Total weight gain of 13 kg..Had my preggie pics 'professionally' taken by Jeff too haha..save money! They were taken when i was 33 - 34 weeks..

Date and time booked for C section..Been telling boy boy to be gd and stay in till the date arrives..

Finally started my ML a day ago..felt a sense of relief as I walked out of my office that day. I was initially panicking a few weeks ago as it seem like i had tonnes of work which i couldnt seem to be able to complete before I could go for my ML! Was so so glad to hand over my last article to my boss haha..

Glad to be off work too cos my pelvic is aching and my legs are swollen..sleeping doesnt feel so good anymore and not to mention the stretch marks which are multiplying!!! sigh, i had been religious with applying my stretch mark cream since my 1st trimester but doesnt seem to be effective huh..

Been thinking of how the C section will be like since i opted for spinal which means i will be fully aware of what is happening..thinking of having the catheter and plug site scares me too..not to mention the pain after the the anaesthsia wears off!! :(

Worries abt not being able to bf, unsuccessful latching on..too many to count lah..